When You Wake Up Low

For the past 2 months i have had people, friends, new close friends just open up to me about their life story.

Some of the other stories, deep true ones, i captured on my social media accounts where they shared them so genuinely to find strength and faith and a push…

Sometimes, we wake up or sleep or spend a day feeling SO ungrateful,

We wake up mad at nothing and everything,

depressed for no reason or for all the reasons in the world, we tell ourselves.

We wake up without aim sometimes,

Only to wonder why do i have to go to work today,

Or why do i have to be there, have to do that, have to take that?

On other days we may wake up feeling tired,

Blue, lazy, in need of that “me time”, that inner peace,

In need to find the answer,

the answers to our existence, or to why are we so “comfortable” where we are and don’t want to aim higher or farther,

We may wake up wondering,

what’s my purpose? Why am i here?

What good am i doing and,

what difference can i make in a world where…

others would kill for attention or

where others are already the powerful and the rich, and the influential…

What difference would i make, If i share myself, my art, my skill set?

my talent, my job, my love, kindness, my insecurities?

Well…

To all of those days and self-thoughts, here is what the past two months have revealed to my now-watery eyes and profoundly touched heart:

When you wake up low,

Think of your friend Abbas…. whose dad is fighting with liver cancer eating him up every day; yet, Abbas a 25/year old young man, shows up every day, and every Sunday,

All hyped up for our run, and our training; so energetically,

he’s like the mayor of the team, everyone knows him and goes the extra mile in all he does.

Looking at him, you’d definitely say, nothing can be wrong in his paradise!

And that smile … that can never be wiped off his face rain or shine!

When you wake up low,

Think of Aya.. your version of Aya too,whose cherished and close little sister is fighting with Multiple Sclerosis (MS) and has been at it for years now

That same Aya, shares a piece of her every morning, through a music link she sends.

And what music that is, sensational, sensual, cuts deep into emotions.Y

et Aya, oh Aya,

she remains the most creative human being, in film production;

manages to be a writer as well with a first book on the way and dreams as beautifully and real as a 5 year old.

When you wake up low,…

Think of Michele… who turns out is fighting lymphoma, and her fb posts call it,

“Only a chapter of my life..”

That 23 year old ambitious nutritionist, striking young lady whose beauty even took her to the Miss Lebanon pageant and became the talk of the town.

She… well she was never meant to be ordinary. A star.

When you wake up low…

Look very closely around YOU, think of Georges whose mom just lost her battle with cancer 10 days ago;

Think of the other George who lost his dad out of the blue 6 months ago no preparation;

Think of Nadim, my passionate, genuine, full of life MBA student, or your version of him in your circle, whose mum also passed away by another type of cancer just 2 weeks ago now.

When you wake up low,

Please, think of Abed, my (your version of a ) running buddy..

Who promised to join me in my next marathon in Europe, cause we ran the first in Beirut together as ONE; yet,

only 2 days ago, he revealed privately that his knee ligament is damaged and had started with a meniscus injury… but now,reality hit and an operation is due.

When you wake up low,

Remember Sharrow… a friend of a super friend i met who had a car accident and was hospitalized to be treated for just that; yet,

there he was then diagnosed with cancer and was crippled for 3 years, before doctors finally said he could get better on this new year.

When i spoke to him, walking his dog for 5 minutes under his building made his eyes SPARKLE.

When you wake up low,

Think of your version of Lily, a mother of 4 of the most beautiful girls i have met.

She married very young, into a well-off family. Down to earth, she lived her life

in the context she lived in, but four years later , things for her husband take a turn to the worst, and

the road got really bumpy; economizing became a lifestyle and ..

couple fights become the real deal for a long while with babies and kids to take care of and sustain.

One step at a time, with a lot of faith and love and kindness… they start getting through things,

She, determined to be an example to her girls, imposes herself on the job market,

and nails a job, then another at the university where i taught.

Shortly afterwards, she realizes her calling to “be all there” for her daughters slowly leaving the cocoon … she gives them wings – literally and metaphorically;

And when they flew off, she did not stop!!

She now is a passionate cook,

working from her own kitchen and taking her organic products out to the food expositions on Beirut’s streets,

for people to taste food that is made with love and care and healthy seeds,

served by a charming magical smile and a bubbly soul like one you have never met.

When you wake up low,

PLEASE, don’t you look without Seeing

Just Look around, SEE,

even your social media activity will reveal life stories, truths, losses, fights, chemo stories, tales of courage, passion beyond all that “happy-all-the-time moments snapped and collaged on social media”.

These things are real,

These people are everyday people like you.

They love to live, they love life too.

But like you, they have had their share of heartbreak, heartache,

They wrote books, letters, carved their feelings in the chosen few.

No battle in this life is easy to fight;

No life comes without battle,

Because in status quo, we perish as human beings created with a pumping heart and an active brain.

Every one is fighting a battle you know nothing about.

When you wake up low … now you ought to know,You have every reason to glow,You STAR, You are alright

Just take your ride,

Climb the tide,

Knowing you only get one life,

one day at a time to really live.

Look around and just SEE, when you wake up Low.

(:

All my love,

Joy

Jan. 30, 2018, 3am

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Christmas: A Different Tale

This year, Christmas is a different story.

I met a lot of people in my 2017, more than any other year i think.

Christmas was a different tale in different lives:

I met gems, who celebrate two Christmases.. because their parents are not together

I met some who cannot celebrate Christmas with their loved one because their families have different religions..

I met single moms, who thought this year, that was it, it’s all i can take.

I met friends, who celebrated Christmas with a heavy heart that’s unexpectedly lost somebody very dear

I met parents who celebrate without their kids or grandchildren because the adults don’t really “ talk “ anymore

I met multiple people who lost their *Mum* this year and their dad only few months back

I met individuals who celebrate Christmas with a very sick parent or sibling at home or on a hospital bed..

I met humans who celebrate Christmas in austerity, due to life’s tighter economic conditions year on year.

In that same year:

I met people who have little in their pockets but rich on contentment and enjoyment of exactly what they have.

I met people whose support system at home is indeed broken up,

yet who see the little hidden advantages even in that and who are on the roll to be better at evthng they do- talk about strength and positivity in life!

I met people with heavy hearts, yet who carry more happiness to every other human they meet.

I met new moms who were never that warm at heart or that optimistic..spending their first Christmas with their baby in a real home.

I met some others who gave in a lot of compromise- loving it- to prove that religion is just a tag and you can live and love and learn about other religions and still be part of a real family

I met people whose close ones have such poor health or who are very sick themselves .. yet, being around them is like a humungous wave of optimism, where all is rosy in this life, for them, and for others.

These, well, they turned out to be the same people having all the hardships listed above… 🙂

Life is full of stark contrasts;

It takes away things, giving others.

It closes a door, but opens others. Hurts but then mends..

Just like it takes sadness, to touch real happiness

It takes failure to know success

It takes heartaches, to find the one, that’s how “you’ll know”

It takes having so little, to appreciate the bundle of #blessings you now have

to celebrate Christmas and every day you get in this life, knowing you have a lot more than many, many.

It takes hardships and strength and multiple attempts to be who you are today,

To know how to spend this Christmas just #grateful for having those you have around you Now.

The Now is so short, yet is a lot.

Yes, They may not be here tomorrow,

you may not be here tomorrow either;

This Christmas, i saw how frail we are just by being Human.

Yet, with a heart that treasures what you have and overlooks what you don’t have,

You can live like a king:

so humble, that his blessings just flow upon every human in his kingdom.

Happy Christmas my most beautiful blessings and gems💫.

PS:

It takes so much more courage to:

Love and live a religion of Love,

Be Kind..

Than to walk with the world, go with the flow even if it’s a wrong one.

After all,

“You can’t blend in, when you were born to stand out”, ever ✨.

Stand your ground;

You can’t change who YOU are at heart and in soul, then maybe the world can Start to change the way it sees.

All my love,

Joy

♥️🌹🦋

Dec. 25, 2017

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Snapped on our way back from spending Christmas eve in the Bekaa region, in a beautiful city called Zahle 🙂
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On the same road we took, you could see the mountains and the sea at once. It was raining yet the sun also found itself a spot:)

Read Hearts?

Live your life at large,
Look at the person sitting next to you, in the theater, subway, or the movies,
 
Don’t just look, see their sadness, excitement, anxiety, joy,
 
Touch their hearts, because everybody has one, everybody has something going on :
while they hop on a train to work or in their car stuck in traffic, or even when sitting and “chilling” as they have a coffee;

IMG-6540 (1)

Sometimes, this life feels like it does not have enough emotion expressed, not enough reality of living exchanged

 
Not enough sharing of the real things that go on inside, 
 
But You,
Do your part,
Share your bits, and watch how you begin to transform the relationships you form

See,
Don’t just look around..
Actually “seeing ” makes my world so much more meaningful and reassuring, knowing others share the same ups and downs I have.
IMG-6545
#love #bekind 💝
L.o.v.e.
Joy
Dec. 16, 2017

Nobody Trusts? Reversed Living Metrics

I miss you my people. I mean it.

My day’s lesson:

The worst case scenario is that no one trusts […] everybody is suspicious“,  [if/when you are kind and selfless]

#reversed #metrics
Today, it’s called #human #development ? Loved the vid, had to share.

 

#kindness helps you live multiple lives, instead of one, which is basically only yours.

With kindness, you get a piece of everyone’s lives.

Don’t you be scared to be “human”, the world is upside down, not you for being the way you are, being a “human” i.e. a compassionate.

 

I miss you my people. And I mean it because ..

I have been tied up with work commitments, leaving me to arrive home late, like you probably, with eyes too tired to open, let alone to look at a screen even if it’s for the one thing i love MOST: talking to you here, instead of to myself or overthinking on my own.

I hope you feel the same, cause this is our no judgment space, as always.

I think of you here,  often, and of my not being here every day, especially  to legit-ly meet you my new, recent followers and those who have met me through my beautiful new blogging friend Alara Karis:) and catch up with you my beautiful, most unique friends I’ve had in this life, really.

Never thought blogging would help me meet people and get to know them the way i do today and the way we make each other feel through our likes and/or comments.

This platform is by far the most generous: never failing to provide me (and you i hope) support, discretely or explicitly or both at once. It never failed to make me feel safe in my sharing, in listening, reading my thoughts,, giving,  generously time among other things, and never failed in helping me find at least one blogger, “like-r” or comment-or who understood exactly where i was coming from..

All my love,

Joy

June 14, 2017; 10.13pm

Someone Like You in this World..Exists

Genuine Exchanges We All Need: There is still someone like you in this world, yup;)

Hello there:)

Miss you my people, sorry i have been less in touch than i’d love to, just taking care of some professional mishaps, but all will be well, it always has to end well, or it’s not the end, right?;)

I hope this post adds some food for thought into your Sunday chill zone:)

PS: I f you can read on, i have a music recommendation/a loveliest band i watched perform: Epic!

Sometimes, i think to myself, this society i am now part of, is not the same as it used to be. It often feels like I’m the only genuine person, looking for genuine fun, for genuine feelings, for a simple good time, a mutual sharing, caring, and exchange..A simple life and good moments to share with others with no nasty motives, when i am not working to make a living and provide ourselves and families.

I keep putting myself out there in the world, i do, really.

Most of us are putting in the effort to socialize; However, it seems like everyone is after something: your money, your power, your position, your connections..you name it, we all fell on (a) “wrong” person(s) in our life, haven’t we?

We don’t feel as comfortable anymore putting ourselves out there. You bet we won’t.

But ..my reality tonight shows: majority of others in this life, think the same as you do. You just need to ask the question and you will get an answer:)

Tonight.. I met a very dear person, a dear friend called M.B.who has settled in the UAE for 4 years or even more now, as far as i can recall us corresponding; he is visiting Lebanon for a week-lucky us!

We met tonight to watch an amazing band called Arnabeat perform at a beautiful pub, with 2 of his people: H. and M-A. That beautiful group of people showed me that even complete strangers can be/think/feel exactly like you do, wanting the same things you want in life: good people, good food, good stories, and so, a good time- all we need is be open, genuine, and exchange a bit of yourself – others will follow suit and tara!

The truth is, I have been in Lebanon for almost 1.5 years since i came back from the UK. Since, it has honestly been challenging to understand how people/the society has changed. The customs, values perhaps are still the same, but people have made it a bit tougher to deal with each other, in the sense, to be transparent and honest about their intentions towards you or your friendship..

In any society or nation of this world, when things get tough, i.e. the national economy and growth stifle, or when politicians’ intentions are no longer centered on the people, new laws are ambiguous, or when making a decent living becomes a heavier burden..people feel it first.

Out of survival instinct, aka Dr. Steve Peter’s Chimp Paradox, it seems we shut down the generous side of us, the genuine giving character and social character because we feel everyone/everything around us is taking a piece of us, or is a potential threat to our wealth, health, and welfare. It makes sense right?

However, tonight, meeting this adorable group of new people has shown me that despite life’s uneasiness, every one of us still values and indulges in intimate, genuine bonds of social interaction and friendship.

Simply put then, We all love good company and a good vibe on a weekend night out, don’t we?

So, you are not alone in your thinking; you are not alone in feeling the fear to put yourself out there; you are not alone in appreciating a good friend, a genuine exchange and getting to know new people.

Others appreciate them, but our world has just made it more difficult for people like you, me, and those with you on this journey, to be as genuine. So stick to what you value, and you will see how other will fall into your circle, appreciating, loving your attitude and thus revealing their exact same attitude to you because deep down, we long to be heard and appreciated by others, we really do.

We are all connected.

10192697-joined-people-standing-around-earth-on-the-white-background-Stock-Vector.jpg

We are all still looking for this now-rare “race” of people, this extinct species capable of carrying this positive vibe to the dinner table, this easiness to initiate conversations, exchange hilarious life incidents, or just this dancing-the-night away attitude, for the sake of a good time and a good, well-deserved laugh after a week(s) of hard work.

When we left tonight, this new group of people I spent the eve with were no longer strangers, but they also shared how “rare people like you are in this world these days [Joy].”

This was meant as a compliment and it touched me deeply; however, it is also at the same time not entirely true because my evening with them revealed there are still other people like Me in this world 🙂 We value the same interactions and simplicity in chats and fun!

I mean, who does not like to be at a dinner table and listen to jokes or funny stories and exchange his/hers? Who prefers to listen to nagging and whining and heart-breaking stories or to look at artificial people showing off all night?

Who does not like to make new friends? to share what they do and know with someone interested to listen?

Who does not like to feel a sense of security and trust amplified? Who does not enjoy exploring other people’s stories (hardship lessons or achievements’), hobbies, passions, and find someone whose hobby complements his or hers and can take it to further heights?

There is someone, many actually, like you in this world; they share these heart-felt needs to bond with people over simple fun, simple exchanges, simple goodness.

We just need to find each other, and the only way to do that, is you to open up, show a piece of your genuine self, not being scared, and see how magically others open up.

You are not the only human who appreciates this, or that, many others are like you, but the adversity in this world and the challenges to build a life amid current national and international developments is pushing you to lose  yourself, your giving,transparent self, and to bury yourself in your own cocoon, where you think nothing bad can happen there, when in reality, you yourself would be degrading, losing yourself, your goodness, kindness, your communication skills that make you a human being, a compassionate creature by nature.

Very truly yours,

Joy

March 12, 2017

She Got Engaged; I Learned to Be Her Second Line of Defense

My childhood best friend, E.G., got engaged 8 months ago today.

My post comes 8 months overdue, but it comes on an evening I found all my thoughts drifting towards her, her photos on social media with her partner, contemplating the life she’s built for herself.

My sister, Sadness, and I were dining together earlier this evening, when she told me,

Joy, you you, you have a way with words..no matter what you tell me, it does not surprise me because I know your words got you this, that, and there, they can get you anywhere.

So here I am using the thing i am apparently best at, to express my love, my heartfelt pride, and my happiness, to someone… SO DEAR, to my heart.

E.G is the most delicate human being you’ll ever meet, like a beautiful butterfly- literally.

She’s the most kind heart-ed being. She carries the innocence of a child; do not get me wrong though, life has taught her lots of things.

Her choice to get engaged comes from a fully grown lady, a lady I admire and cherish with all of my heart. I may have failed to show her this through actions, physical gestures, and social media “likes” and “hearts”.

But … deep down is where it all matters, isn’t it? All the feelings, all the thought, all what you wish someone?

I admire her, partly because she has the courage to love; a courage I sometimes doubt I have or know how to use. Do you?

I may have the courage to fight for my career, for my professional and personal growth and development, my survival from a dramatic accident and chronic injuries, but she…

She fought and lost many battles at love,

but she also won – a lot more than she ever lost, in my eyes at least.

Love breaks, in ways we each grew familiar with in our own ways, don’t you think?

Her story is a fairy tale, but there’s a catch:

to date, I do not know exactly how to feel having someone as dear be engaged. Some of you may think, it’s the cycle of life, nothing changes, it’s the normal thing that should have happened…

But, for those of you who like me, may think a bit further of this big step for someone like E.G.,who has had her share of right and wrong relationships, then I feel differently, and at one point I felt like I “had fallen out of her life”.

For instance, I keep feeling I should have done something: I should have been there, at the proposal, after the proposal; I should have brought that gift, or sent that card I never sent but i blame life for diverting our paths or putting in new people I barely know.. or maybe I even blame myself for having decided to travel for two years to pursue a masters, knowing she had something potentially serious going on, yet i couldn’t keep in touch in the same way we were..

looli.jpg

Life did put us on different paths, and sometimes, I think maybe I should have taken that extra mile every time i had the chance or time to stay in her life the same way we use to be, maybe then she wouldn’t feel disappointed of me or our friendship, or wonder where did we stop being that close in daily life.

But tonight, I see that those phone chats we share now and then, those occasional Sunday brunches, and those flawless memories we share from our childhood and in our innocent hearts still have us registered as the friends we use to be, exactly, and it’s all just more in my head.

As the day passed by today, I had a different take on life;

A little context for how i was inspired to post tonight:

I have been on a short unexpected period “off” work and this past week, I’ve been enjoying the little things, like

My mum, being with her to pray, to shop, to prepare lunch at home.. like

My Dad, his cuddling knowing that he is a stiff, solid Man;

my sister coming back from work, with the same drained and beaten look on her face only i am there to console her, listen to her, feed her, or just listen to her learning about low people, unprofessional and undeserving managers..

my workout, runs, and training at the gym and outdoors as they reminded me of how good i feel about myself once i accomplish those little training milestones.

Tonight, I finally realize I did not “fall out of E.G.’s life”, but out into her second line of defense

All relationships evolve, romances above all.

From a young married couple in their 20s and 30s, to their 80s or 70s, love alone or the flame does not survive, it’s rather the entire package, the respect, the admiration, the caring, the taking care of each other, the dreams and plans you see with your significant other, the interests you share or different tastes you experience because of each other..

[PS: For those of you with a richer experience on love than mine, please feel free to share your lesson in the comments sections: I for one would learn so much from you, really.]

So, if that is true and the package is the key, then i know with her getting engaged, life shifted my positions, in her life.

I need to allow life to make these changes, else i’d ruin its plans for my loved ones; i see now how i fell right into E.G.’s second line of defense.

I am no longer in the front row, enjoying a close up view, but rather sat on that balcony, where she owns the stage, she is its star, and she knows I am there and will be, whenever she signals it:)

Try not to jump into conclusions or allow your doubts or fear of losing a close one push you to move out of their life because they sure want you in it. At least, this is my lesson from E.G.

Being in second line of defense is in fact, key and crucial. If you are not there, who would protect her heart, which is initially inside, closer to your line than the first, cause who builds a fortress and sits outside of it? You’re that second line, that inner circle, not that outer layer. Enjoy it, see it, feel it, and act like it.

Keep your warm memories of you two, cherish the other’s adventures and love stories, be there for them as much as you can. As you do your best to do all these,  your dear one sees it or must see it one day – at least what i believe today, in this situation, with these thoughts, at my age of 27.

I know I count and I know how happy it makes me to see her so grown up; exactly my age she is.. but way ahead of me in the courage she has to love.

E.G., may the odds be forever in your favour. I love you.

Truly yours,

Joy

Feb.23, 2017 at 2.38am

Chill zone: gratefulness & my first mini-publication!

Hey you:) 🙂 I had a long, really long day. How was yours?

I’m dead sleepy yet still have some work to be done, but decided to check in here and share a little piece of news.

It reminded me to feel good about myself, and to always be a joy to others, family and friends despite the tiredness especially after a working day.

They are our blessing.

I’ve taken on a new job only beginning this week in Economic Research.

Today was Day 3.

I do not have my own online account created yet or my new business email, hopefully expected tomorrow, but

I did put together and published today,

my very first academic, economic, and professional report here

EDL Bleeding Clogged by Drowning Oil Prices

I will not share this yet on my academic blog, even though i am very proud of my work, until we fix/open my research account where my works would be written under my name, as professionally must be, naturally :).

That’s about it really tonight; i was genuinely excited and thought i’d put it out, sharing myself with you here for a few minutes.

Always look for things or people who reflect a small or big effort you have put in. Be grateful for them. 

These often make us realize how much we can be Givers in this life, even if we feel down on some days or higher on life on others. 

Sincerely yours,

Joy

Nov. 16, 2016; 10.45pm