Want to Stop Hurting? Let’s :)

People around me have been hurting .. It made me genuinely sad..
and I felt responsible, i need/ed to do something.
I exist in this world, like you, for bigger reasons, for a greater purpose:
to be whoever i was created to Be and get better at it well because.. i was created to do what i do the way i do it, not the same way others do it..
I am sure you may be, or people in your circle are hurting..?
In my circle, particularly in this period, not 1 or 2 this past week that i knew of .. like Alara .. Sneha.. Sarah ..
[Add in the names of your cherished one’s here],
but several people were hurting. and I was compelled to share a dose of
love,
care,
compassion,
kindness,
support .. 
in my daily chain of kindness started two years ago and now including 102 people!!
and then, sharing things here with you, my precious ones, my world but you get an extended version, well because you have been so generous in your words, comments, and likes, you have been “life” – generous and i am forever grateful to you.
ūüí™
ūüĆł
This today my people, goes out to a friend of mine in India..
who hasn’t¬†been doing so well; because we all fall there, don’t we?
Into that pit…?¬†
But i got a sign of life from them and she reminded me actually that:
We must let things go, and there’s a catch:

When u let it go, it soon turns into your biggest strength: that is,  your story..

¬†A story u can tell those u choose to tell for the rest of ur life and¬†move¬†people you meet on your way ūüôā
Also, ive been to condolences this week…and something¬†happened, something big and magical.
I met a total stranger as i consoled my friend/colleague Sandra standing next to her.
And the young stranger [Celine, as i later was compelled to meet legitimately as i insisted on talking to her one on one;
there was something that pushed me to just STOP and talk to her, dig further..for what turned out to be a most beautiful human connection with someone who for a minute was a complete stranger, and in a minute, became someone unforgettable in my eyes and hers.]
she stared at me for a minute or two, looked at me with eyes that were at once:
sad and full of amazement, of disbelief, of trust;
eyes that wondered how on earth i captured her attention and heart.. to the extent that i made her feel something different than the pain she was feeling ¬†at that moment on that cursed day, when she had to stand there, among so many people, and hold back tears, to say goodbye to her grandmother …
She later admitted, she sensed¬†, “a positive energy” as i passed to share my words and condolences with Sandra..
I cannot explain it, what when Celine and I shared when our eyes locked, as i spoke out my words to Sandra and indirectly to Celine who was standing right next to her..
But it was real my people. It was so magical, a beautiful moment i never experienced before.
I felt .. like i lit her world, even for a fraction of a second, amid her sorrow, tears, and her “pit” .. truly, when you feel you have done that, you feel..
You connected to another human, to a soul that was so in need and in search of some sort of communication or a connection, to let itself outside the shell,
to share pain, concerns, sadness, grief, but all wrapped with the love to the person taken away from her.

My people, when you adjust your attitude, every morning, every hour, every minute of anger or anxiety or depression, 

People around you feel it, 

You connect,

And by sharing this with them, your adjustment,  u feel stronger, empowered, through them. 
#loveyourlife 

You are left with what u exactly need to make it in this life, every time, even if u had to start over, countless times.

#pickyourselfUP and get going:) why tomorrow not today?
ūüĆą
All my love, truly,
Joy
It’s the little things that count, in every aspect of life.”
July , 22, 2017 at 11.23pm

Losing a friend: how to think

March 13, 2016:

I missed my Good Day Email to you this morning, and I am sorry for making you wait for it till late this evening.
To be very honest, I received devastating news that left me speechless and non-focused, on anything.
I’ll be short:
a very very dear friend of mine, Chady, 29,  passed away last night in a car accident.
I truly can’t push myself to share more right now, but all i wish to ask is for your prayers- in any way You pray.
I may not understand it now, nor his family, but it’s a piece of the puzzle we are yet to understand.
It hurts. a lot. It is surreal, weird, frustrating, but it’s okay.
And i say that very convincing-ly:¬†I have Faith that God knows what he’s doing.
As for each one of you tonight:
a message from the bottom of my sad heart goes out to you, with my beloved, cherished friend at the heart of my lesson:
Please,
express your love,
show your care and excitement,
share your fears, desires, and worries at every chance or moment you get
because we may be here today, but overnight not be.
Just like that… just like that.
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Let everyone know everything about you,
or a lot about what’s going on in your brain, behaviour, intentions, and heart
because YOU¬†are authentic and when you’re not here anymore, someone still here will know who you truly are and how you make them feel
because you shared your true self: sincerely, explicitly, freely;
let go of things, for everyone around you to have a piece of you, the broken and whole you, to have an effect on another being, to inspire, learn, or touch.
You know, the truth is:
I know Chady because he always confides¬†to me, of all people he may see so frequently-physically that is, ¬†I was one of those who got a ‘special’ part of him, that i am sure of.
In¬†all the times when he was broken, struggling to achieve things in this ‘lousy’, tough life we may all sometimes lead- with me being away and/or next to him- I always knew about his thoughts first. Not even his closest friends know how much we use to confide in one another…especially when I was abroad.
And the times when he ‘felt’ broken when we talked were more than i can count; as many as the all of us I bet.
He was not broken though, he¬†just¬†‘felt’ it – the distinction is key; like you and i feel it more often than not, right?
The ironic, sweet bit is that like the name of this blog, Chady always overcame life “through others”, by keeping his close ones close.
He kept in touch, gave so much, invested in people;
he also scolded me so much for not making enough time to write him at times when life carried us away from each other.
He never ever failed to express how i meant to him, how much, or how any one person in his life meant to him.
He never failed to put himself out there, for us others to accept him as he is, or not to.
With all the above, I know he’s happy and will always be exactly where he belongs.
To My people, to every one of you, and to Chady’s family and friends:
If you’re still alive,¬†reading this, playing your sports, writing your work, sculpting your piece, reviewing your accounts, or singing your song in this life;
if I am still alive, and if you have a beating heart,
its because we are meant to be Alive,
meant to be breathing, here, next to our little community, wherever that is or with whomever that includes.
We are meant to go through this particular difficulty, the other, other, and the other one..
Maybe even over and over.
We are meant to have this depression, trauma, these scars in life.
This helplessness.
This bottom-of-the-pit feeling.
This heartache.
This confusion.
This abstractness.
This seemingly- never ending sorrow.
This helplessness or devastation, better yet, maybe even both.
YES.¬†We are meant to as long as we still have a breath to take, we have a life to lead and people to impact, to talk to, to share a¬†smile…
and people to love, to hate, to be there for, to learn from.
Suck it all in, yes…that includes all the bad times because you¬†have this burden but you’ve remained “alive”¬†for a reason.
You must keep searching for this reason throughout all that you do in your life until the time comes and you pass away;
Only then, do you really have the “alibi” to give up;
to let it weigh down on you;
Only when you lose your life and it’s no longer in your hands-physically.
Suck it in because every morning, God does not forget to wake you up for a new morning-rain or sun it’s your new morning and you should care less.
You’re there to meet new people, your everyday colleagues/classmates, new faces¬†on your way to work and uni,
you’re there to see the¬†beauty of that little bird chirping in the parc or on the street leading to your workplace/studio,
there to see that duck in the lake with its little ducklings lining up behind¬†it learning about what dangers to expect in their ‘simple’ life.
It’s about the little details of life.
Please be mindful of them.
Be mindful.
No one, trust me, NO ONE is not broken, or has not been Broken and bent.
Stop pity-ing yourself.
Stop letting yourself fall into despair,
because it drags you down.
Everyone has traumas and problems and trust issues and love-dramas and work-clashes and physical, psychological abuses in their life. Every one. How do i know?
We are more alike than we think and i allow myself to say that because i have had for the past two years more than 70-80 people confide in me and me alone.
So yes, i know the deeper stuff of the above number of people (representative or not you be the judge),¬†but¬†i can tell you what I’ve had and it has told me that we are more alike than we think.
If you feel like you wish you could die of all your troubles right now, or every day,
Well: please think again.
Think again tonight, for me.. for our lovely Chady.
If you were meant to ‘evade’ these hardships, you would have been dead by now, don’t you think?
If your body cannot take it, then it would have biologically shut down one way or another.
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Yet to-date, it did not.
It may have for some other people, but to you, it did not yet, so we need to learn how to celebrate this blessing, together.
Given that has not yet happened, then why do you insist on forcing it to shut down? Why? Think about that, would you please?
As for me, well, i was still refraining from coming all forward to you guys here and on my blog about losing my Chady tonight because i did not know what to think.
I’ve spent all day wiping away random thoughts and a lot of tears, lost as to what or how should i ¬†think, ignoring more and more messages coming in from a certain WhatsAp Group that Chady had created a short while back only because i was too devastated to express myself, let alone hear more of people who like ¬†me, don’t know what to think or how to deal with this.
This same WhatsAp Group, then gave me an idea:
I have you, My People on this Blog, but not being a fan of WatsAp myself, i lacked ways to express things on that WhatsAp Group…
So I used your help, on this platform, to reach out and console all my friends on that Group tonight, by asking them to join our platform, in honour of Chady.
I told them about our platform, our blog, something i have been hesitating to do with everyone because i am still unsure about launching the all of it. But you, My People, give me strength, and tonight, it was Chady’s sign that showed me what i should exactly do.
He gave me strength and the courage to open up, to re-evaluate my standpoint in the face of difficulties;
Chady tonight let me think and learn the following:
Your time is now, do, say, act, express everything to every one.
Go the extra mile because if you do not today, you may not be here to do it tomorrow.
Put in that little effort to express gratitude, love, care, kindness, mindfulness.
Dedicate time to those things, hobbies, and activities that define the authentic You 
because: that is all people will remember when you pass onto the other side. 
Those Chady-things are indeed all I remember tonight, as i finally bring my floating, lost thoughts to a solid closure, hoping it could help others deal with his loss as well.
To you My People, I genuinely have nothing to lose but everything to gain, by sharing how my passed away friend taught me how to think when i lose someone so dear.
Here i am as i am, and those i love and aim to be there for ,will /should understand where i am coming from in this post and all other lessons that touched me through my people.
I’d love to leave you with something I shared once (few months back), when my country was in crisis and¬†friends of mine- religious and not- were deeply touched by (especially N.L);
i am compelled to share it again tonight, hoping it would help touch more people who do not understand so many things in this life, like i don’t tonight, but my loss is actually¬†helping me get there:

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Sincerely yours,
Joy
March 13, 2016; 10.43pm