Love: Not So Common to You Too?

When you think about love,

Don’t think about the beautiful or the handsome, the short-hair or long hair only;

Don’t think of the car, the home, the lust, the attraction, or the fancy wardrobe and gala dinners..

When you try to find Love,

remember you are not always as invincible as you feel today, now

What you have, that health, is so frail and priceless

When you think about love,

Try to notice:

Does this person have what it takes to be with me, if my face is scarred from an accident?

Will he/she look at me the same way, and love me, when I have eczema all over my body and face, or maybe that incurable dermatitis, or my severe asthma attacks?

Are they surely -not likely- going to be there if i am diagnosed with cancer someday, or maybe even MS , clinical depression?

Or if my parent needs to be taken care of..Will that partner offer the help, the financial, morale, psychological help?

What if you or I get food poisoning at a fine dining restaurant we were just out to in the city centre that eve,

Would he/she still be there at the end of the evening to hold my hand,

as romantically or as lovingly  as he/she did at the beginning of that dinner when i looked smart, impeccable, gorgeous, in that emerald dress or in my brand new suit and burgundy tie?

When you chase love,

Will this person be by your side to raise your kid ?

Will she be the super mum you want for your little mini – yous

Will he be the dad you never had, and mend all broken relationships in your past and your present? or will they magnify the rift?

Love.. Ah love..

How we search for you in the wrong ways and in the wrong places,

We think we got you all figured, heartbreak after heartbreak, relationship after the other; alas…

Most of us are lucky and privileged:

We are lucky and privileged but we don’t know it because,

we get to wander around on most of our days all healthy,

flashing our colourful feathers,

yes, we walk, talk, eat, read, argue, discuss, meet, judge, decide, take action, be kind, be greedy, be selfish, be showoff, be proud, be happy, fun …

We get to be many different things roaming around in this wide world…

It’s like Shakespeare once said:

All the world’s a stage, And all the men and women merely players; they have their exits and their entrances, And one man in his time plays many parts[…]” 

Yet,

We forget we will be demotivated, somewhere along the way

We will lose something or someone so dear, will we have somebody here to hold us through this, for months or years?

When  you try to find love or look for love,

don’t be fooled thinking “what you see is what you get

because more often than not, it’s not and behind those looks, there’s a human being;

a human – with a lot of baggage, stories, scars, memories, treasures, emotions, feelings, mysterious aspects, and unique traits that make them, THEM,

And we only REALLY see how privileged we are, when we are extremely sick, powerless, scared of illness,

and when we resort to prayer when things get pretty rough in life..

When you have the job, the rank, the position – in your career

the prestige, the social caliber – in your society

the money, the package, the salary – in your pockets..

WE feel invincible, we feel powerful like we could rule the world..but could is a big word with a lot of meaning.

Would you want to rule the world alone?

Would those around you understand your heart?brain? where you’re coming from..do they?

When you look for love,

will he/she push you to make at least 1 of your dreams true when you lose hope along your way?

what about when you lose drive, will he/she pull you up?

Does he/she understand why chasing this or that or not chasing anything for now is so important to you and your well being and perspective?

When you lack inspiration, would he/she be there to hold you, bear with you, and get through it,

Will he/she keep you when you lose the sparkle in your eyes, for few hours, days, months, or weeks?

If we look for a partner, and if many of us have hit our “goal” in a career,

wouldn’t you choose to go back to zero,

to share it with someone instead?

Wouldn’t you pick, to Go smaller, cozier,

Pick less responsibility and more time to spend with them rather than with the office?

When you pick Love,

pick when you feel weakest,

pick when you are most vulnerable,

don’t hide your story, your child(-ren) or your scars,

tell them,

write them, record them, explain them, just share them. And.

if they are The human being who can take these in without pity, but rather

The Human to look at you with compassion, respect, understanding, passion, optimism, and strength

If they know what to tell you , or

if they read your thoughts hidden deep beneath that swollen face and falling hair,

beneath that broken patient in the room or on that hospital ward,

If they can.. we would have found love.

Love should know no shame, no question should be forbidden or feel awkward to ask

Love..

Early on or in the later stages and decades,

is finding somebody who gets where you come from on the inside, in that maturity and that intellect,

he/she gets what drives you and your thoughts,

what makes you tick,

what wakes you up every day on this earth,

You deserve all of it – and you will find it, when you expect it least.

drea.jpg

 

Don’t sell yourself short, don’t get anxious, don’t advance  by society’s norms

They are so often messed up big time and are usually more ripe than your relationships are ever mature;

Picking your partner..is an essential step of your existence and to conserve your unique contribution to this world

They ought to know you and you ought to know them – like all of that…

 

All my love,

Joy

*inspired by a rough night to fall asleep but wonderful thoughts*

Jan.4 2018

 

 

 

 

 

 

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