Cancer..of Happiness

Okay, okay (*takes deep breath*) :):):)

My people, I truly need to talk about this day. Never in my life had i one like that. This day is to go down in history, the history of signs, Magic in one day.

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It’s a day, that once in a decade, that comes to show you how small the word we live in is in essence;

some of these incidents are private as i usually do not speak of smallest acts i live by really, but i had the courage today to share it with you, i wanted to share how the small acts towards others count, in real life, and the only way to show you that is give u a real example(s).

How the destiny of each one of us, is somehow linked to that of another-necessarily linked- my people;

How we all are one part of a huge circle, of huge diameter, and all events on that circumference take us closer to the fate of the other standing on the same circumference.

Every act i was planning on doing this week for another person i have at heart, to say sthg admirable in what  they recently did, yet i had not yet due to time constraint, i got to say today by seeing every single one of them all wrapped up in a day.

All week I’ve been thinking ¬†how selfish and self-centered i have turned lately, focusing entirely ¬†on my career and overworking, forgetting about my humanity, and the little things in life that bring that light through that creaked window in your room; little things like sharing a coffee with someone, family, friends, and “living life” in all its beauty-outside of the work life.

The places i chose to be in today, a Sunday, and the exact times i stepped into them altered my entire plan for the day. So, let me tell you what happened chronologically:

I was close to hungover from a party last night, but i still wanted to make it to prayer at 11am this morning, as i knew i’d miss it later in the eve when i had planned to meet a friend. After a party i rarely make it to prayer Sunday morning; i habitually just schedule it for the eve.

I headed to Sunday morning mass; in there, i meet my best person ever, Miss Monique, from my school. She’s not just someone you know from school.. she’s family, she’s my older sister, she’s everyone’s rock.

Prayer over, i took mum for some groceries and dropped her home : one of the rare uneventful drives today, trust me.

I left to do some work in a coffee shop nearby for a couple hours before we had our family lunch. Nothing extraordinary about that, right?

Wait till you hear that change of life:O (*ecstatic look on*)

I stepped into the coffee place, was headed to pick a table to set my laptop before my order, but then decided to order my tea first and then settle in once and for all.

As i queued at the till, a voice next to me greets me warmly; i hadn’t even seen their face when i stood there, but turning around, i realised i had ran into an acquaintance from school, a certain Elie, but one with whom we had exchanged deep correspondences this time last year, when we lost a common friend, a friend whom i knew was of special importance to Elie, so very close to his heart.

I was in the UK when i heard she passed away, but he directly popped to my mind and so i had decided to message him, hoping to ease the pain- even if just a little, even if we hadn’t spoken to one another in more than 6 years. And oooh did he need it, did he needed to let out a little and a lot of his anger against the universe, God, all of it..

Day’s Lesson 1: Never hesitate to share something you feel like sharing. Never, cause u never know what that person’s going through to need your words. Yet, how many people are afraid to share their genuine thoughts, fear of being rejected or being viewed as as softy or a weak person..

He appreciated my message so much and completely opened up then; our friendship or let me say, our unique understanding of each other was strengthened with this simple act of kindness, when i responded to that little nudge i had received about writing that person, even though we had not been in touch for years. ¬†It’s called being Human, my people, just being our true nature.

So we chatted as we queued, and he explains he’s here to grab a couple coffees for his mum and sister, who are at the hospital, with his “sick” dad ..

Dad was diagnosed with cancer two months ago and just recently had an operation in attempts to extract it- the odds do not look so much in our favor though..

Boom! As soon as i heard his news, it was my turn at the till, i looked at Elie and found myself asking him,

Can I come? Now, with you ..”?

He was quite surprised yet smiled and said,¬†“sure you can come”.¬†It was funny and sweet ¬†to see his reaction as he tried to hide the “are-you-for-real-you wanna come?” –¬†expression.

We left the place together, i took the room number at the hospital, and got in the car to drive there. I headed, but something felt missing. It’s a tough story, for him, and his family is there, the operation was just recent..something was missing, something i should do.. i just felt it.

My people,

Day’s Lesson 2: In tough times like these, can you imagine, like I did, how thin the thread every member is holding on to? Their struggle, their pain, the fear of what’s to come, that nasty recovery rate which has tricked so many doctors and patients alike with that vicious cancer in the last decade?!

I changed directions, and went looking for a flourist. A rose was on my mind.

When in pain, physical and psychic alike, we do not see colours.

For humans, colours are a whole science, but for the sake my story here, to me, to us, they are an indication of, a new perspective, a certain beauty in dull things or monotone patterns or sceneries of our life.

A rose, one with a violet-y outer layer and a fuschia-core was my pick. Two of them please, I said. I had never seen a colour as special in my life, really. Unique colour for a unique person I told myself..

Elie’s dad was actually my physical education instructor back in school; not only that, and what Elie does not know is ..

a) I had met his dad in Summer 2015, when i went up to school, and our chat, was about Elie. I saw how worried his dad was about him. I knew how much he loved him and how much he worried about his future in our country, Lebanon.

b) When i was in school, Elie’s dad was my dad. He enrolled me on every inter-school and inter-regional competition. I looked up to him then and today still, and I respected him like i did my dad.

I made it to the hospital. Entered the room, explaining out loud, “i spotted the special colour of these flowers and had to bring them to someone special”, as i made my way to Dad’s bed.

You should see the smile on his wife’s face behind him, his daughter’s smile, Elie’s lit-up face, and Dad’s…deepest most sincere look¬†of appreciation and gratefulness, as if i had just donated the family a billion dollars (knowing we are best at quantifying things materialistically in this world, that’s how much his one look said).

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I sat, we chatted, i saw Dad in pain, but i felt at home, literally, being there. At home. It was lunchtime, i left them, but i took the mom in private.

I shared my near-death experience and told her,”this experience is going to be the most beautiful, an¬†eye-opener, to all those who need it too.So don’t¬†be afraid. [..]“.

I left the hospital. I headed for home to our family lunch. I napped for 25minutes exactly, and hopped into my car, this time back to the coffee shop to actually do the work i had planned to do in the morning when my day changed, when I was given a chance to be and feel HUMAN again. 

I had my tea, settled on my laptop for 10minutes, when an elderly man in his 60s I’d say, came forward to ask me if the Wifi service is working at the cafe.

I was courteous and replied it is not, unfortunately and that i am working on my own templates. One word led to the other,a conversation was building up. He picked up my British accent, which apparently rubbed off from my 2 years there, and he said he was here on a holiday from London.

He still stood there, chatting lightly, when i asked him to join my table. I did have work, but i was interested in what he had to say, and the way he said it for some reason.As i honestly scanned the looks and tone of voice of the man, i did not feel too weird.

We sat for 1.5 hours, chatting, exchanging mega-interesting topics, opinions, experiences, preferences, on our dear Lebanon, how we could fix its economy, what I do for a living, people’s futures here v/s abroad..

Day’s Lesson 3: Every person you meet is an Encyclopedia.

Never, try to never miss the chance to flip through the pages of each one. Chances are, you’ll find pieces of yourself in there, or pieces of your future, and if you’re lucky enough, pieces of your present!

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In that 1.5hours, I could have done “work” which according to the world’s sciences proves to develop the brain and help mental growth bla bla bla.

But i learned about Life, through another human being who was generous enough to share just what was needed to give this conversation essence, meaning, and humanity.

He really highlighted my life, expanded my knowledge, pushed me to consider opininons other than mine ..

He left, I continued working in the cafe.

5 minutes later, i look out the cafe’s vitrina to the sea view, to see my classmate, Wissam, just coming into the coffee shop.

Wissam is a very dear high school friend, one i had re-gotten in touch with since last summer, when i returned from the UK.

Also, in a genuine note i had sent his way praising the success i see on his social media platforms in his career, we bonded, in the most beautiful ways. Today, I met him, when we were unable to schedule a meet up due to both our hectic work schedules.

Our smiles and excitement … cannot be quantified. I was thrilled to just see him and quickly catch up.

He left, i continued working. I had texted my friend to meet me at this place for a coffee, but he hadn’t read my whatsAps yet. I was working anyway. Within 15 minutes from Wissam leaving, I look out the same vitrina, and see the friend i was supposed to meet; ONLY he had not read my messages, and was here with a friend but was planning to ask me to meet him afterwards.

My smile was the broadest ever. I could not believe how my day had went. Can you?

All these beautiful thoughts and people, and stories, and exchanges of kindness in the form of smiles, conversations, telepathy?like-minded people? All people who were dear to me, yet with whom time mostly did not allow us to develop our relationships.. I met today. I also was granted the chance today from that interconnected universe, to help each one of them in the smallest acts of kindness.

Day’s Lesson 4, my finale: We live in a circle. So hold no grudges, only a “cancerous happiness”.

Whether you are in India, Australia, the US, Europe, or Lebanon and Asia, we are in the same circle. Elie today, the opening of my day, Cancer of Happiness, cascaded a happiness and give-and-take with special people who are in my life, just on another proximity of the diameter than mine. All good things..

Whether the glass is half full or empty, the point is, you can always fill it because your resources are right there, across that diameter. You trust life, have beautiful feelings at heart, no grudges, no negativity, and see how those resources, your people, your signs will fall right to your feet and fix your life permanently.

That cancer story¬†I picked up today through my encounter .. spurred feelings, beautiful ones, and re-initiated friendships that were long lost pr postponed till “when everyone has the time”.. -NEVER rather ..

Today was a cancer..but one of happiness, today and to come, i promise you that, because we are all in a circle;)

Cancer of Happiness: A day, a lifestyle;)

Very truly yours,

Joy

Written Jan.15, 2017 at 8.07pm

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