PicK your Battles like roses

Roses …

they are sometimes very thorny on the outside it hurts anyone who touches it, but sometimes they are not, they have few thorns and allow us to gently carry it,enjoying the fragrance of the soft rose standing at the end of the stem.

Battles of Life ..

The battles we pick to fight in this life, whether a family one, a work one, a personal illness one, and a psychological or physical one are all thorns surrounding, protecting, or perhaps covering some things we want to attain, eye, or just really want.

Battles are not easy; they have a starting point, but no endpoint usually. We initiate them, hoping to get to the end of the line when things are right again, where i can celebrate my success.


We tend to forget though that .. we do not have to pick every rose (and struggle with the thorns around it) we meet on our way.


The very thorny rose is not necessarily the most beautiful rose, nor does it necessarily carry the most lively, colorful buds, or most amazing velour petals. It could, but it depends on how the rose was created.

that is, is it meant for someone to take on the “battle of picking it”:

i.e.get spiked and stung by it, and only then be given the chance to enjoy the emotions its beauty creates to them and the person they offer it to?

Or could it be

that someone comes across it, sits there, appreciating its beauty, but then continues walking towards their destination, choosing not to bleed or take out the thorns, because they’re just not their kind of rose?


How many of you have chosen to remain in an unhealthy relationship, perhaps even over n over n over..or still are?

Why are you there?

Have you “chosen” to pick your fight and that was/is one of them?

Or has it taken its toll on you and now you’re not so sure anymore why do you allow it to drain you like that? 

How many women and men in the world nowadays suffer of domestic violence or chronic physical abuse, yet they refuse to admit it or turn in the aggressor? 

They insist on fighting the battle .. on picking those thorny roses, but why so?

How many times have you taken on an overtime task or job on, knowing it would prevent you from:

  •  really breathing? i.e. taking deep breaths, and yes, more than one.
  • spending the time you need/want with your family and kids?
  • practicing your hobby? knitting! running, drawing, yoga, playing an music instrument, collecting stamps, car prototypes, currencies..?!
  • How many times did it drain you emotionally and mentally, yet you keep repeating the same mistake and taking on similar duties?  

Was it or is it all worth it?

i.e.could you have found another rose to pick, with less thorns, perhaps even more beauty, but just standing a little further from the crowd/garden of thorny roses..?

standing a bit further away, along that little secret door of the garden that is only found by the selective few people in life who decide not to conform to society cuffs, to the black dot in the middle of the page, but they rather believe in how special they are as a person, and believe they were created, just like this less thorny rose, as beautiful, capable,unconventional,and as unique and driven to follow this secret door and get to places, be things to more people in different ways than the world “herds” most of us people in masses, to one path to success, which is based on literally stepping over colleagues in your life to attain success, or stepping over family life to be rich/successful, and so forth..

Stepping over people, you learning how to lie, cheat, manipulate others, or go against your work ethic every day for the rest of your life , – no matter how ambitious- may yes get you to places, but:

Can you still find the person YOU really are deep down, the genuine, authentic you, with all your perks but also your vice?

Do you still see the passion, the drive YOU had in you when:

You first started building furniture for a living, or drawing your art and displaying it in someone else’s showrooms, or helping underprivileged kids, or educating others, or consulting your clients on the success of their company’s expansion or new products..? Whatever it is that you chose to start doing at the beginning of this year or the one before at this one place .. Do you still find YOU in it? 

If you do:

then whole-heartedly, it makes my heart lighter to know that someone in this world has managed to maintain their authenticity, their true self, and their own character within a larger workplace that does not and did not succeed in sucking their own soul out of them .. no not like a vampire, but rather, so slowly, as it kills their real ambitions, the real development sought, as bosses or colleagues give you morphine shots to last a little longer on your lower salary, a little longer on that requested vacation you had asked for a week or ten ago yet “work” is in the way and you were not granted to take it .. and just a little longer  on that departmental restructuring you pitched a “year” ago today.

If you don’t:

While you fight to do these things for a living ( yes, a living is something we all look for and need in life) but while you fight these, did you ever feel you were losing yourself?

Do you feel you’re a better Mum, brother, father, or sister than what your job allows you to be?

Do you feel like you’re going against your own work ethic big time while you’re at it? A first time passed, then it dragged on a second, third, and twentieth?

Did you ever feel like you’re not you any more while you’re at it?

Did you feel like you’re doing it not because it’s your calling anymore and you enjoyed doing it like when you first started, but rather because you’re now caught in the middle, unable to share your preferences or proposed changes because you know the structure won’t allow it or the boss(es) won’t change their mind about that?

We choose not to turn our aggressors in, we choose not to show our misery or pain, we choose, we choose, we choose … the thorny roses, almost always thinking that’s how it works in life, in the world Joy for God’s sake, how did you even think “the world can change its heart” (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MWASeaYuHZo)

I love you, my people. You actually are a minority who actually, genuinely listens to what I or others have to say; I guess this is my whole blogging experience lesson so far.

Last night, my people, i sent out my resignation letter to my supervisor.

Lesson of the Day:

Pick your battles and Bow Out Gracefully.

Do not face them by default because they came by to your life; they weren’t.

You pick to live them, and when the time came, to fight them – or not to.

It has been an uphill battle at work – which I obviously allowed to impact me big time, being so away from my blogging.

But also, life ties our hands, clips our wings and brains to certain extents that it makes it so complex and unjust at different turns. Virtual friends like fear, insecurity, social/family  benefits take over our authenticity, our true self..and above all, society ties, stereotype, and cultures’ expectations just drives us further away from God and his plan for the way he created us to be, for that good heart, for that honesty, for that closeness to others, that overflowing giving we have, the special relationships we can build with others wherever we are thrown by life we just have this gift(s)..

Whatever you gift is, just *insert* it on there.

I realised this is the first time in life, when i actually SEE this thorny rose here and say to myself , Nah that’s not mine to pick.

This battle is not mine this time, so i’m bowing out gracefully.

I’ve never bowed OUT from anything in my life .. from the struggle to land my first job after graduating with my bachelor, all the way up to my 2014 accident in the UK, i struggled through that, navigating the heck out of there so fiercely, cutting down all thorns i met along the way as i picked all those roses to pull myself together back up again. And i did, then i struggled through this job i am now leaving,

but this time, i saw the thorny rose standing there, my workplace rose that i can see clearly now as i changed myself and my genuine love to give and good nature in a tighter culture that just believes in different principles and values than mine to get things done … 

Well, i couldn’t be more proud to tell myself|:

Joy, congratulations for seeing the thorns around the rose this time round BUT not picking them like a bulldozer , the way you usually do to “challenge yourself” and “grow” as many say you need to do these things ALL THE TIME to really learn. 

No, this time, I bow out gracefully.

My friends, this time round, pick your roses. Their beauty is in the selective-ness of the person picking them, not in their quantity really.

Faithfully yours,


October 7, 2016; 7.51am



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