It’s Happening, Yup, whilst you think “no:O, I’m Planning It”!

My most beautiful people:

I M.i.s.s. y.o.u :D<3 ; It’s “us” time!!

I have a zillion deadlines i need to meet as our summer semester in uni comes to closure; yet, it’s *us* time.

I need it, you do too, your emails, messaging, dropping by on my media and space signals me that. I can also feel you .. here’s one sign that i really truly do:

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I cannot believe i am here now, ditching all else, the life have-to-dos to be on here, feeling as amazing as i do, blogging, sharing a piece of my life with you- it’s been a while and i have so much.

I’ll try to divide them across a couple posts tonight, if you have the time, stay tuned and give me a chance at being your good company? I’d be delighted to have you ‘spend the eve in’, with you lot, the night before my birthday;)

PS :

My sis, Sadness, already thinks i’m growing more and more ‘spiritual’ and an out-of-this-world kind of being who lives in her own planet of positivity and kindness and allgoodthings, in my newly found habits, practices, feeling others, and chill-ness about almost everything and anything frustrating. So, now i’m sure she’d be thinking i’m going nut-tily emotional with virtual, imaginary friends of mine as she would tease about my blogging:OO hihi  (A)

But no worries,  i promise, i told her all about most of you, she knows you’re more real than anybody i know, yep, you: Deb, Tea, Robert, Steph, Ishita, Paardje, The Seeds for Life, madinplainsight … and all of you new followers i haven’t had the chance yet to really get to know you.

 

  • Cici (pronounced like, “sea-sea”):

I hadn’t seen a friend of mine in more than a year, until we met on Saturday July 30th 2016 at the phenomenal Engagement of one of our dearest, dearest friends from uni.

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We had lovely, refreshing, thought-provoking sharings and chats during the ride to the South of Lebanon on a Saturday eve to get ourselves to the much-awaited engagement;

we talked endlessly throughout the evening, until Cici said one thing that lit a light bulb in my head, it just stuck there until today, when I sat and actually blogged about it here to you.

 

So we were catching up .. on where life took us, in what directions, professionally, academically, socially, and intimately; from one convo to the next, and then she said so assertively and realistically,

“Yes it’s so true true .. Life is happening as we are planning[…]”

Ladies and Gents:

shouldn’t we live a little more? plan a little less?

because the time we’re using to “plan” how to make better use of our time and energy and life is actually time wasted from the now we live in? Isn’t it?

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Cici has been with her partner for the past 6.5 years, 7 in a month’s time. I asked, how did you get through, 7 years?! Wow, wow, i am truly amazed! Knowing- please: that for all that time, she’s been in Lebanon, while he’s in the USA (time difference is the least of their worries i’d bet!), building the brightest future he can see, for himself, his children, and wife to be. She was/is doing the exact same, developing herself and growing.

Tough call, huh?

We don’t always get it easy in life; we just don’t, it’s life, no problem though: each of us, each one, has their story, their very own, you’d know it and that more than anyone, won’t you? –

Ambitious though? Determined? Focused? Hell yes.

I don’t think I ever said that to her or her partner, knowing both are jewels in my life – but here’s my chance, finally having the courage so genuinely too, to post and announce it here to them:

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I admire the both of them, the courage, the persistence, the faith in life’s ways.. big time big time big time.

 

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I mean..getting over the sort of challenges they faced, and those are only the external challenges we saw or knew of !?

They have been more away from each other than together in the same geographic location really; but that night, she had breaking news:

Cici was accepted and fully funded for a PhD in the USA, when neither she nor her partner expected or planned for things to turn and work out that way.

Fate?

Grace?

Hard work and dedication over the long-term?

Will power?

Luck? … (*Add in your/more suggested words and thought here provoked by the couple’s story*)

This is where she said, life happens as we are planning or trying to plan it… 

Heat of the moment, I thought this was beautiful, it spurred in me a certain feeling i try to put for you in words here (so that’s me now talking to life at that exact time):

{You know what you’re doing , don’t you? Cici and her partner F.R. have been trying to plan, plan, and plan just a little more, hoping that actually being together in the same space would become real,

and there you wandered off, completely on your own, as they thought they were planning YOU! You little sneaky but beautiful surprise, you gave it to them, after 7 years, on a silver platter ( did not say Gold here as they will still be 3 hours apart by plane as i was told, hehe nonetheless :D:D!!) }

We just need to cease the opportunity(-ies); keep fidgeting; email, google, meet them others, inquire, be open to others, to people, to your dreams, ambitions, to idols you think are too high up the ladder to be reached.. let us be happy for them rather than be jealous.

Why Not?;

Why not be happy for others? deeply, truly, wholly, genuinely, with the good nature of a human being? We could be that, we all could, for jealousy does not bring you whatever it is you envy, does it? 

  • Selim and Nidale:

On July 28th, 2 days prior to the Engagement of our dear friend above in the pic, Mum and I went up to a home furniture and home décor, artisanal-oriented boutique, but one that sells, crafts, and/or ships very rare, unique pieces, most are hand-made, and not even manufactured anymore in their places of origin like this little pill box, hand-crafted:

Selim, the passionate owner of the boutique, has a passion for beautiful objects, and people, and it so happened i was with my mum that evening to buy an engagement gift, and he insisted i take this precious box home with me as a gift.

His wife Nidale, runs the shop with him; they live in the floor right above. #simplelife #fulloflove.

I have not seen – EVER- two  people who love each other as much as this couple; and their love story, oh boy, I’ll never forget it.

These two gems are 68 and 63 (respectively: Selim and Nidale).

In their youth, they were WILD, literally, WILD and YOUNG and FREE (yes just like the song indeed).

To their era, they were so open, as they dedicated their life, each on his/her own at first, to dancing. But, not any dancing: they represented LEBANON, their home country, in Canada, as they belonged to a folkloric dance studio.

Lebanese “Dabke (our traditional dance) was their passion, their LIFE.

They both left their family at a very early age, when their dance studio asked each of them, in his/her respective team, to join the one team summoning the studio’s elite dancers, to travel to Canada, to teach the Dabke tradition to expats: children, youth, adults, and elderly too!

They had never danced on the same team, but apparently, as uncle (‘3ammo’ is the equivalent Arabic term used to familiarize a stranger who is so friendly and warm like) Selim and aunty Nidale had ‘a thing’ from a distance, as they practiced with the dance group in Lebanon.

Life then intervenes, again, this time giving Selim and Nidale Love on a golden platter: the trip to Canada, the adventure and thrill of mingling with expats missing their home country so much, had lasted enough years (TEN!), which allowed both of them to marry, in Canada, as they both continued doing their own thing, pursuing their most sincere, authentic passion: Lebanese Dabke Dance.

They both then moved back to Lebanon, where they had 3 children, two of which live in Canada now, and one is in Lebanon.

(PS: To be true to you my people, i tried asking the couple for a photo, as they told me the story in the boutique they looked to gorgeous, heart-warming, and 3ammo Selim even flipped open his Nokia, old-fashioned signature phone to show me photos of his gorgeous bride ! Unfortunately yet so sweetly, aunty Nidale tells me,

Forgive me Dear but no photos tonight please, i have not done my hair, and Selim is not allowed to pose for any photos without me”.

Then, she went on to show me pictures on her antique mobile as well, of herself, when she was in her 20s, all pretty and dolled up, dancing her life out.)

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My heart melted; seeing them .. and how life worked its magic for 45 YEARS to-date.

You tell me, how does their story make you feel? (*sigh*:)

 

 

  • Tati and Santiago

In the same themes of this post: Life, Engagement event, Cici’s breaking news, being happy for others, giving…

I was at the farewell of Cici a week later from the Engagement. I had the chance to re-unite with some old uni mates, particularly a certain Tati.

She was with someone that night, a man i recognize only from her social media and timeline.. where i also knew she was struggling and has been for a while, to move mountains.. why? what? how?

Long story short, she is a Lebanese (non-European), trying to find a good job in Europe, enough said, don’t you think? The simple and really logical reality is, Europe today is looking after itself and itself only and mostly (especially post-2008 crisis), so it cannot really afford anymore, the opportunities and advantages it used to give to foreigners, like it did before.

Now, Tati and I got the chance to chat, she introduced me to Santiago, Mr.-mysterious on her social media 😉 He was absolutely adorable for one particular reason in my eyes:

the whole time, from the time of introduction to the time when we said goodbye at the end of the eve, Tati was all he talked, bragged, and smiled about. It was beautiful to watch them, truly.

Turns out,

  1. Them too were already engaged!
  2. On that farewell night, Tati had just gotten two job offers in Switzerland, not only that, but those offers would leave her only an hour away or less from her fiance!

Would you tell me about Life now? Would you give this story a Golden or silver, or perhaps bronze platter? 

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I was genuinely thrilled, thrilled to see how life challenged them yes, but then to see how it so generously gave back to them, as they just gave more love and determination, will power, hard work, commitment, and love into each other’s lives..

Now, i thought of the flip-side too, honestly i did that night as i drove back home, listen:

Knowing the situation in Lebanon, growing more difficult economically and politically by the minute, i thought to myself:

how many friends of mine, acquaintances, have been struggling for years now with finding a decent post, salary, and life despite their good qualifications…

How do you think they, and even us sometimes, me included, would have looked at Tati and Santiago, Selim and Nidale, Cici and F.R., and/or many other ‘success stories’ similar to those in my life shared above, and they would just envy them, or maybe they just self-wondered, why do they get to get it all?

Why does it work out for them? or for one of them just like that?

‘Just like that’ is how we all see it, isn’t it?

We don’t see the entire iceberg when we look at people’s lives because all we see is that tip, that happiness that comes in at the end, and which is all people share in their lives really-

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Look at all the Facebook lives and Instagram accounts, Snap chat stories, and photos.

Does anyone take a photo of himself or herself when they’re in a depression, or crushed, or in their own shadows? Rarely, or for certain purposes, .. right?

Most of my Facebook has happy relationships, lives, smiles, family gatherings, achievements, awards and ceremonies, *sparkle times* as i love calling them:)

Ladies, or gents, a moment of truth tonight, I nakedly stand here and ask myself and You guys, my people:

How many times did you look at others, really, honestly, and thought to yourself:

Why are they achieving miracles?

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And i’m still waiting on mine? ,

Why do they get this or that and that?,

While i remain stuck here and there for years? and i keep getting lost and then find myself, then find hope and then lose it to find it again as i struggle then overcome challenges then fight for my life and balance again, but then hit rock bottom before another incident knocks me down again?

…all whilst others seemingly are getting all they ever wished for, living La Vie en Rose !

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We are humans,

And our mind goes on and on and on for ages, days, weeks and years sometimes, making us envious, making us think it has defeated us, when the truth is:

the mind has no power, it’s all in you and how much you give it and how you adjust your own sails you were equipped with from the day you were born.

It’s okay, i forgive myself for being egoistic sometimes, and i think you should too. I forgive even people closest to me sometimes, whom i look at in certain situations and I think to myself:

you know what, you are so full of yourself, why would you want to envy what others have achieved, or received, life is about giving NOT taking.

And when you give, really give, this is when things and blessings more specifically will flow back to you, ten folds! 

I’m actually reading an extraordinary Book now on “givers” in life v/s “takers” and “matchers” (these last try to find the balance between not giving so naively, and not being entirely arrogant or as self-centered as “takers”:

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{Adam Grant- Why helping others drives our success: Give and Take}

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Dedicated to all humans on this platform, who accept and admit their faults;

we admit we are not perfect, but we have our eye and hearts focused on the greater good, on that angel of ours rather than the devil on our shoulder.

Goodness is rare, it comes from within, and it can only be safeguarded by being the authentic you, true to yourself, the closest possible to the beautiful human you were created to be on this earth, in this life.

 

All my love,

Joy

Aug. 19, 2016; 7.32pm

 

 

 

 

 

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