A Secret Ingredient

ūüôā

Sharing an interesting, recent life mix of: Loneliness, Hope, Reflections, and Love.

Happy Easter my beautiful people;

celebrating or not this holiday, I hope¬†we all had a ‘fair’¬†amount of time: to mend, to take care of ourselves, and to enjoy the things and people we cherish most in our busy, sometimes overwhelming lives.

I am compelled to share one gem to take away tonight:

 

A Movie Recommendation: Unconditional (link below)

Came across this movie by chance tonight. No words can possibly express how it spoke to me, truly. Powerful, beautiful, real; based on a true story of someone who chose, like us on this platform, to share their story, perhaps it may help others:)

 

My Lessons of the Day (if you have the time, please do read-on):

I had met my beautiful friend since high school, E.G. earlier this afternoon. Honestly,¬†I had been procrastinating our catch-up for weeks on end to be very honest, justified horribly by: “i’m too busy/overworked, stressed¬†“etc. you get the idea.

Our exchange … left us both ‘cured’.¬†For real.

Lesson #1:

All it took was the will, the nudge forward to actually meet up, selflessly investing an hour of our time in one another.

Highlight of our catch-up: we brainstormed on new, practical plans to launch in this upcoming month, for a more interesting, enriching life outside of work/other commitments life imposes on us more often than not:

I, Joy, have the expansion of my Blogging learning curve & the self-enjoyment/fulfillment that comes wrapped within those, in the lines of new acts of kindness I can/shall coin for My People (Stay tuned for those!);

while¬†E.G.¬†has a good amount of amusing investigation to discover something she loves to do, for herself, not for anything or¬†anyone else and start it. It’s time for new options on the table of life!

Not by coincidence, this past week was also blessed with the visit of a precious friend E.H.; I did not get the chance to tell him though things I’d also love you, my people, to hear:

Lesson #2:

I urge¬†you to always knock the doors, even when you’re not sure who or what will be on the other end;

1.I began to fall in love with the Bloggers’ community I am exploring online day in, day in!

I would just love it if¬†everyone now ‘meets’ my new friends here on the blogging platforms: Steph and Tea especially :D:D

Beautiful, beautiful people, stories, and moral support.

2.Opening up this Blog and posting on it merely to¬†share my story with “others”¬†who share my cup of tea in life, is the best thing I EVER did in my life so far.

Every new notification on here gives me the chills and every new blogger i discover close to my outlook to life and character gives me reason to celebrate, be thankful, and smile every single day.

3. The¬†“we only truly grow through others” Life Lesson & Self-help tip ‘driving’ this Blog wins yet again:

I wanted to give my students (first through third year undergraduates) a special, professional guest-speaker for their Marketing Modules, so i spread the word genuinely across my humble network of people- no one renowned or hotshot trust me.

Within 6 days, exactly, I was referred to, met, and chatted with my confirmed Speaker Рa hotshot, regional Marketing  Professional in one of the biggest Holdings in the Middle East, R.B.

Hearing my genuine mission with students in my first year as an academic, and sensing¬†my excited intentions to share with¬†our students something ‘practical, memorable and engaging’, he is now willing to share his story, expertise, and knowledge for no return – at a date we assign with our university. I cannot wait to see how we’ll get on with this!

Talk about investing through¬†“others”? What do you think? How else could I have currently grown in my mission as instructor and academic officer of my students at the British School of Business, if not by asking “others”, valuing or ¬†recognizing “others”, genuinely appreciating them, being interested in what drives them, and hearing or learning from “others”in¬†the¬†networks of my people?

ūüôā¬†I rest my case for tonight on this one.

Lesson #3:

In the loneliest times of all, you’re never really alone.¬†Love is the most powerful thing on Earth and I’ve seen what it can do.”

I learned not to ever again underestimate the Love of our “special people” and how much it allows them to understand us.

I learned not to ever again underestimate how much putting the ‘small’ yet crucially-needed effort to see a good friend (you don’t see every day because of ‘life’) over for a Coffee/Tea can do you good and release you from weeks of ‘not-such-a great’ relationship with life.

I learned to always live simply- literally; that is, communicate all grey thoughts or areas you may have because only by honest expression and naked truths, do two people really strengthen and build-on their relationship.

I am sure it was no coincidence at all that, as I felt I could not understand life perfectly these past two weeks, the right people next to me, E.G and E.H. were here for me, when I thought I was the one who should be/is here for them.. but then I realized,

Lesson#4: The Secret Ingredient

Soulmates… ūüôā the blessing I recently understood right.

A true Soulmate¬†is not a perfect fit it seems! It’s more of,¬†a mirror, the person who show you everything that is holding you back,

the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life.

[…Soulmates]¬†tear down your walls and smack you awake […].

They come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you, and then leave.

[They] shake you up, tear apart your ego a little bit, show you your obstacles and addictions,

break your heart open so new light can get in, make you so desperate and out of control that you have to transform your life[…]“.

 

Always eager to know your thoughts..:)

With all my love,

Joy

March 29, 2016.

 

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A Love Wish

The warmest good eve¬†to my people ūüôā

I¬†have a friend, she’s actually a friend of a friend, and we got to meet and become friends through this common person…

Her name is L.K. and tonight is her birthday.

She’s officially the first to whom I wrap-up a blog post for as a birthday gift:$

She’s officially taught me a lot about ¬†Love, a version i never had, by being in my life, so telling my people here¬†about her, and her about her, tonight, i’ll tell you about the Love i found, one of my favourites actually in my current life and a love i know will only give more sense to why we were meant to meet in this life and be friends the way that we are.

As you read-on, i hope you can think of someone in your life, whom you have never really told how much they mean to you ¬†(before they stopped being in your life for any reason), especially if you think it’s too weird to tell them that cause you’re just used to be there with no added explanations:)

One thing i know for sure:

I know L.K. deserves a lot; sometimes I am not sure she realizes that and other times, she settles, just like we all do more often than not.

Basically, she turns 30 today March 24th, and having spent her birthday night at hers with some friends on the 19th (:D yep preps started since!) in a way too special evening with highlight conversations, thoughts on life, and new heights in the Pictionary Game and its likes, I realised how much i loved her.

how much i love her strength,

her being liberated and how she lives her life.

If she were not in my life, i would feel the difference;

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She allows herself to be different. It makes her what and who she really is.

Even more so, you know when you get the chance to be someone you are not on a day-to-day basis, but when with the ‘right company’

i.e. someone who understands this little, quirky twist in your brains, you can actually be someone you love to be from time to time or as often as you like?

L.K. is exactly, perfectly, this person, this friend.

She has the most loving heart and a beautiful soul.

But alongside these, I have reason and a feeling to believe that like the all of us, she sometimes loses sight of the things that matter, how much she’s worth- i mean, don’t we all? I include myself at the top of ¬†that list.

Hitting 30, especially in this Middle Eastern Culture here, just seems to put an automatic bar, a threshold for growth and happiness, which is entirely absurd and ridiculous; yet, no matter how independent I am, just like L.K too, I’d feel this pressure because of others around me, especially the elderly in our family who love us too much yet pressure us especially when it comes to matters of the heart!

This Birthday Post is to reject all that nonsense;

She has not had an easy life – at all, some things i know, many i don’t. Yet, her eyes tell the whole story and i am a good reader of people.

Like every one else, like me, like those closest to me who confide in me and I in them:

she invested, trusted people, certain close ones, other farther ones, but she was let down, lost, broken, abused, hurt in every and all different versions of the words presented.

She does not have a perfect family, or the perfect life, even though sometimes she makes people around feel that she does. It’s how human beings function, or most of us at least because we have an ego, a pride, and we tend not to cry out for help when we need it most.

Really now, don’t we all? Don’t we all have our struggles, our un-shared, unorthodox¬†stories and scars? Our insecurities.

We do; we do and we do.

I do, no matter how much I try to evade them until this someone corners me with them.

In parallel, don’t we all have “Love”, in any form or version or definition of it?

I have been wrestling with the fact that i am compelled to tell her I am there for her, in the best ways that i can really be there;

sometimes i¬†genuinely¬†think there’s a lot going on in her life that i don’t know, and/or she may be too difficult to help or support because i don’t know her ‘well enough’, or ‘deep enough’ to open-up to her just like that, or to even know how i can help out.

I am scared she could reject a helping hand to just be there..

Nonetheless, tonight, I was compelled to reach out.

For no solid justifications, I couldn’t be with her tonight to celebrate one way or another, but I decided to come clean and tell her all she means to me here amongst my people on our platform, on her special day, her birthday.

Who among us does not need the little nudge forward?

Who does not need the little voice of encouragement? the little confrontation to show them their mistakes, or to help cover them up and overcome them?

Who does not need others to just ‘let them be’, as sad or hurt or helpless as they sometimes feel?

Who among us does not make mistakes we think we cannot live with, or that we will never be the same with them in our life and as long as we live?

I want her to know that I know another friend, a certain E., she lives in Europe, and she has been even more broken than anyone i know, in the same and worse ways.

I have yet another friend who can write volumes and volumes about violence, pain, being beaten up, blue bruises, scars, broken hearts, stepped-on pride, self and voice..

I’ve heard the stories and they made me cry but taught me a whole lot more about what sharing my Love and Kindness can be/is to those around me and in my life.

And another friend. N.L…. who suffered from the most isolated versions of loneliness and longing for home, and disastrous life on her own when she relocated away from home to study. She was self-struggling, and not even aware of it, which made her think of hurting herself time and time again with no one around to pull her up because she kept it to herself, isolated.

Love and kindness must only be shared, so here I am, one person at a time i guess:)

I want the birthday girl today¬†to know: I¬†whole-heartedly “admire” her, yes, her strength, her charms as a human being, and her confidence;

I want her to know i love her the way that she is, and whoever cannot deal with that says a lot more about them than about her!

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I laugh with her in ways i don’t with any one else.

She brings out a ‘special-edition’ of a laugh cause she simply understands the looks in my eyes, or the twisted jokes that might come to mind¬†on the most ridiculous things.

You know, she introduced me to a new type of love i never knew. One that is afraid it might be undervalued if shared, fear of the other person not accepting it as it is.

She showed me how i can love someone truly for who they are, in all their differences, weirdness, difference, little perks, big/small wounds, scars, their own not-knowing-what they want in life, and their own insecurities.

It’s different from my family love, different from the love of a crush, different from the love of someone you think you like, from the love of a boyfriend, fiance,¬†closest friend(s).

She is a love that brings out the sides in me that are in there (in me), longing to be out there, but suppressed because of my own social, family, and cultural ‘restrictions’ or stereotypes.

She liberates complicated things within me, that no one knows exist, except when i am with her. And i love her so much exactly for that.

In her own ways, actions, laughs, and thoughts, and ideas, she makes me a better person; someone who loosens up, and who learns every time we meet, to become less and less uptight about things i am most conventional about.

This today goes out to you L.K.;

a wish that comes out from my hearts of hearts, for all the things i wanted to tell you and still want to, but refrain from doing so because i am not quite sure if i’ll know how to handle you or how you’ll perceive them.

Every person perceives support, love, and kindness in different ways. I’ve learned that by losing some of my people and winning others. And because i have never made a point to say them to you face-to-face or during our crazy nights out, I¬†chose tonight to resort to what i am best at: words are my home, so i recently discovered and began to act upon it.

It has been a week now since i lost a good friend of mine (to whom Blog Post #6 Losing a Friend: how to think was dedicated) and the lesson he taught me before he left was/is:

let it all out, express all that someone means to you while you both breathe because you never know when they might be around anymore. So:

I love you, very much so.

I love the me that you bring out.

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Life is fair and unfair at times;

But you being in my life is something i will always have, protect, and cherish even though i do not always show it to you because it gets all too ’emotional’ ¬†and neither of us likes to dwell on that like that, so we simply¬†enjoy each other’s company:)

I love you the way that you are, and no matter how cheesy my words may sound, they come directly from the heart.

You are someone that i love in ways i never loved any one. And i love that.

Keep having a little faith in life, please, would you? It will bring about things you do not expect because of the unique things you have been through or known in your life. They make you YOU;

Our laughs are priceless. The eves we share inspire me to be the versions of me that i do not always dare to be.

The lessons you share, even if not entirely, with me teach me so much as i have never encountered them myself in the same ways.

Happiest 30th Birthday Habibi (‘my love’ in arabic).

Truly Yours,

Joy

March 24, 2016; 9.22pm

How to live it: Life

March 19, 2016:

Hello there ūüôā

I¬†didn’t expect i’d have the time to be here right now;

it’s Mother’s Day on Monday March 21 in Lebanon. My Mom and I had planned to spend the day hiking one of the most beautiful towns up North; a Town called Assia, renowned predominantly for being the only authentic maker of pottery tools and utensils in all of Lebanon.

We just came back and I was off for a nap, but found myself here with you people:)

The time we spent…was incredible;

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I couldn’t imagine wanting to spend my Saturday with anyone else, or in any other way.

Other hikers with us in the group perceived us to be sisters and it was most amazing to hear.

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So, I’m passing by our platform here as someone inspiring just sent something my way and i’d love to share it with you;

its your voice again, as we had agreed that it will be here, not just my own words all the time cause i learn from you more than anyone:

 

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“The full quote is by Tony Bennett,¬†‘Slow down. You’re too important. Life teaches you how to live it, if you live long enough.

Life never lets you move on, until you have learned what it is trying to teach you.
Like a good friend, life keeps trying to show you the way ‚ÄĒ keeps trying to show what isn’t working for you and what¬†behaviors¬†need to stop.
When you keep banging your head up against the same destructive scenarios,
life will patiently keep showing¬†you the painful consequences ‚ÄĒ until you get it.
Life will teach you the same lesson time after time after time,
until you finally start to learn.
Life will try to teach you what kind of people are bad for you, and what kind of situations
make you sick and weak, what kind of substances are a no-fly-zone for you, and what kind of existence brings you into bloom.
Life will try to show you what was never meant to be yours, and life will try ‚ÄĒ by any means necessary ‚ÄĒ to teach you
how to look for something else, when it’s time to change.
As we get older, there’s a trust that grows within us about life, ¬†that something out there is trying to teach us SOMETHING¬†Emoji
My heart breaks for all those restless souls who could not live long enough to let life teach them how to live it..
But to all who are confused, lost, and/or in pain right now, my [faith tells me] that you, [like me],
will learn how to listen,
with trust and respect and love, to what your life is trying to teach you.
Your life is your friend. It’s trying to help you.
Slow down.

You’re too important.

Find the teaching hidden in the chaos.¬†“

This was a good reminder to me when it was passed onto me today, especially on this special occasion where i am ever more grateful to have my Mom in my life the way that i do right now.
As long as she lives and she’s here, life is teaching me how to be around her; how to let my existence bloom.¬†A lot more lessons are in store for me, good and bad…but for now, i’m enjoying this lesson, enjoying how to be content in living my life in all the ways that i do.
With all the love from a happy day i am blessed to have spent,
Joy
March 19, 2016; 5:29pm

 

 

 

Losing a friend: how to think

March 13, 2016:

I missed my Good Day Email to you this morning, and I am sorry for making you wait for it till late this evening.
To be very honest, I received devastating news that left me speechless and non-focused, on anything.
I’ll be short:
a very very dear friend of mine, Chady, 29,  passed away last night in a car accident.
I truly can’t push myself to share more right now, but all i wish to ask is for your prayers- in any way You pray.
I may not understand it now, nor his family, but it’s a piece of the puzzle we are yet to understand.
It hurts. a lot. It is surreal, weird, frustrating, but it’s okay.
And i say that very convincing-ly:¬†I have Faith that God knows what he’s doing.
As for each one of you tonight:
a message from the bottom of my sad heart goes out to you, with my beloved, cherished friend at the heart of my lesson:
Please,
express your love,
show your care and excitement,
share your fears, desires, and worries at every chance or moment you get
because we may be here today, but overnight not be.
Just like that… just like that.
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Let everyone know everything about you,
or a lot about what’s going on in your brain, behaviour, intentions, and heart
because YOU¬†are authentic and when you’re not here anymore, someone still here will know who you truly are and how you make them feel
because you shared your true self: sincerely, explicitly, freely;
let go of things, for everyone around you to have a piece of you, the broken and whole you, to have an effect on another being, to inspire, learn, or touch.
You know, the truth is:
I know Chady because he always confides¬†to me, of all people he may see so frequently-physically that is, ¬†I was one of those who got a ‘special’ part of him, that i am sure of.
In¬†all the times when he was broken, struggling to achieve things in this ‘lousy’, tough life we may all sometimes lead- with me being away and/or next to him- I always knew about his thoughts first. Not even his closest friends know how much we use to confide in one another…especially when I was abroad.
And the times when he ‘felt’ broken when we talked were more than i can count; as many as the all of us I bet.
He was not broken though, he¬†just¬†‘felt’ it – the distinction is key; like you and i feel it more often than not, right?
The ironic, sweet bit is that like the name of this blog, Chady always overcame life “through others”, by keeping his close ones close.
He kept in touch, gave so much, invested in people;
he also scolded me so much for not making enough time to write him at times when life carried us away from each other.
He never ever failed to express how i meant to him, how much, or how any one person in his life meant to him.
He never failed to put himself out there, for us others to accept him as he is, or not to.
With all the above, I know he’s happy and will always be exactly where he belongs.
To My people, to every one of you, and to Chady’s family and friends:
If you’re still alive,¬†reading this, playing your sports, writing your work, sculpting your piece, reviewing your accounts, or singing your song in this life;
if I am still alive, and if you have a beating heart,
its because we are meant to be Alive,
meant to be breathing, here, next to our little community, wherever that is or with whomever that includes.
We are meant to go through this particular difficulty, the other, other, and the other one..
Maybe even over and over.
We are meant to have this depression, trauma, these scars in life.
This helplessness.
This bottom-of-the-pit feeling.
This heartache.
This confusion.
This abstractness.
This seemingly- never ending sorrow.
This helplessness or devastation, better yet, maybe even both.
YES.¬†We are meant to as long as we still have a breath to take, we have a life to lead and people to impact, to talk to, to share a¬†smile…
and people to love, to hate, to be there for, to learn from.
Suck it all in, yes…that includes all the bad times because you¬†have this burden but you’ve remained “alive”¬†for a reason.
You must keep searching for this reason throughout all that you do in your life until the time comes and you pass away;
Only then, do you really have the “alibi” to give up;
to let it weigh down on you;
Only when you lose your life and it’s no longer in your hands-physically.
Suck it in because every morning, God does not forget to wake you up for a new morning-rain or sun it’s your new morning and you should care less.
You’re there to meet new people, your everyday colleagues/classmates, new faces¬†on your way to work and uni,
you’re there to see the¬†beauty of that little bird chirping in the parc or on the street leading to your workplace/studio,
there to see that duck in the lake with its little ducklings lining up behind¬†it learning about what dangers to expect in their ‘simple’ life.
It’s about the little details of life.
Please be mindful of them.
Be mindful.
No one, trust me, NO ONE is not broken, or has not been Broken and bent.
Stop pity-ing yourself.
Stop letting yourself fall into despair,
because it drags you down.
Everyone has traumas and problems and trust issues and love-dramas and work-clashes and physical, psychological abuses in their life. Every one. How do i know?
We are more alike than we think and i allow myself to say that because i have had for the past two years more than 70-80 people confide in me and me alone.
So yes, i know the deeper stuff of the above number of people (representative or not you be the judge),¬†but¬†i can tell you what I’ve had and it has told me that we are more alike than we think.
If you feel like you wish you could die of all your troubles right now, or every day,
Well: please think again.
Think again tonight, for me.. for our lovely Chady.
If you were meant to ‘evade’ these hardships, you would have been dead by now, don’t you think?
If your body cannot take it, then it would have biologically shut down one way or another.
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Yet to-date, it did not.
It may have for some other people, but to you, it did not yet, so we need to learn how to celebrate this blessing, together.
Given that has not yet happened, then why do you insist on forcing it to shut down? Why? Think about that, would you please?
As for me, well, i was still refraining from coming all forward to you guys here and on my blog about losing my Chady tonight because i did not know what to think.
I’ve spent all day wiping away random thoughts and a lot of tears, lost as to what or how should i ¬†think, ignoring more and more messages coming in from a certain WhatsAp Group that Chady had created a short while back only because i was too devastated to express myself, let alone hear more of people who like ¬†me, don’t know what to think or how to deal with this.
This same WhatsAp Group, then gave me an idea:
I have you, My People on this Blog, but not being a fan of WatsAp myself, i lacked ways to express things on that WhatsAp Group…
So I used your help, on this platform, to reach out and console all my friends on that Group tonight, by asking them to join our platform, in honour of Chady.
I told them about our platform, our blog, something i have been hesitating to do with everyone because i am still unsure about launching the all of it. But you, My People, give me strength, and tonight, it was Chady’s sign that showed me what i should exactly do.
He gave me strength and the courage to open up, to re-evaluate my standpoint in the face of difficulties;
Chady tonight let me think and learn the following:
Your time is now, do, say, act, express everything to every one.
Go the extra mile because if you do not today, you may not be here to do it tomorrow.
Put in that little effort to express gratitude, love, care, kindness, mindfulness.
Dedicate time to those things, hobbies, and activities that define the authentic You 
because: that is all people will remember when you pass onto the other side. 
Those Chady-things are indeed all I remember tonight, as i finally bring my floating, lost thoughts to a solid closure, hoping it could help others deal with his loss as well.
To you My People, I genuinely have nothing to lose but everything to gain, by sharing how my passed away friend taught me how to think when i lose someone so dear.
Here i am as i am, and those i love and aim to be there for ,will /should understand where i am coming from in this post and all other lessons that touched me through my people.
I’d love to leave you with something I shared once (few months back), when my country was in crisis and¬†friends of mine- religious and not- were deeply touched by (especially N.L);
i am compelled to share it again tonight, hoping it would help touch more people who do not understand so many things in this life, like i don’t tonight, but my loss is actually¬†helping me get there:

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Sincerely yours,
Joy
March 13, 2016; 10.43pm

The Letter to Fear

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Dearest friends, My People,

A couple conversations about every day struggles and life were initiated this past week of March 7-12, 2016 with individuals very close to my heart, and they made me realize 1 thing:

this platform was initiated because it is about You, my people; so i figured I always share things that were/are attached to people in my circle of experiences, with you, to reflect on or relate to one way or another, but why not allocate now and then, a space for your direct voice and contribution?

I am expecting 2 sharing-s to be delivered into my inbox the next week; two sharing-s i can cut and paste as is onto our platform here, in the name of their respective writers/the persons undergoing this experience wrote-out for us.

And we’ve agreed to put them out here, maybe their voice too helps you one way or another in your life.

So, today, i received a very special something from a certain N.J.

He’s a past acquaintance, someone I¬†have not met in a long while, yet whom i know, has gotten to this point in life: the point where not all people are…that point of a little bit more wisdom and a little bit more understanding of life, what truly matters in it, and how to live it up- literally, regretting absolutely nothing and not dwelling on absolutely any challenge or low point. Simply, he’s so energized with a ‘positivity overload’ that nothing is impossible.

I am compelled to share the words with you, and customized them a bit into the Joy- framework; please, meet:

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I encourage you all, if you are feeling stuck, to sit down one of these days and write your own letter to your own fear. But before you do that, here’s an even more interesting exercise: Allow your fear to write a letter to YOU.

I do this every once in a while,¬†when I’m feeling particularly shaky and unsure of myself.

[Yes, even the “Joy” you met in Blog Post #1 has fears within her ..]

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I give my fear a chance to express itself, formally, in writing. I ask my fear, “What are you actually terrified about, in this situation?” And I make a effort of listening, with respect.

(It’s amazing how seldom we do this ‚ÄĒ listen to our fear, with respect. We’re always trying to punch it in the face, or kick its ass, or run away from it. But we seldom let it speak.)

I’m always amazed by what comes up. Often, I think I know what I’m afraid of, but when my fear is given a chance to actually speak, I’m surprised at what the real issue is.

The other thing I keep learning, when I let my fear have a chance to make its case, is that my fear is not (contrary to how it often feels) BOTTOMLESS. Fear and anxiety can feel like they have infinite depths, like they are afraid of EVERYTHING, but usually they are just afraid of 2 or 3 very specific things, once you look closely. And sometimes those 2 or 3 three things are pretty reasonable. Usually, the letter that my fear writes to me is quite short, and very precise.

And once I see what those 2 or 3 issues are, what I’m actually afraid of…well, now we can talk about it. Like adults. Like friends.

And that’s when I can write a letter back to fear, thanking it for its thoughts and contributions, but gently explaining what we are going to do now that all the information has been reported.

I know it sounds freaky ‚ÄĒ to be writing letters to and from various aspects of yourself…but remember: None of us is a SELF; we are all MANY SELVES. What we call a “self” is just a wild mishmash combination of lots and lots of different parts and competing voices. (Anyone who has ever negotiated with herself/himself about whether or not she/he will be going to the gym today knows this: we are a veritable auditorium of rival voices and contrasting opinions.)

But if you can approach all these rival selves with a spirit of friendly curiosity, it can make your head into a more peaceful neighborhood.

It’s all about communication, people. It’s all about communication.

Start with your fear. Ask it what it wants, what it doesn’t want, and why it’s so desperately holding you back from what your creativity and your courage might be asking you to attempt.

Let your fear speak.

Let it write you a letter.

Read the letter with open-minded and open-heart-ed affection.

And then write back to your fear with love and kindness, and respectfully explain your new plan.

Your fear should always be allowed to have a voice, and a seat in the vehicle of your life.

But whatever you do ‚ÄĒ don’t let your fear DRIVE.

Truly yours,

Joy

March 12, 2016 ; 5:52pm.

Advice needed: evening reflections

I never felt i needed you my people, to hear me out here, as much as i do tonight.

I’d love to hear your advice and thoughts¬†as I take with me on my March 3, 2016 day:)

It’s finally Thursday- the only day when i drive back home from work thinking:¬†great, I have no classes to prep for the next day I get t do a few me-time things; yet i ¬†find myself dragging my feet to settle on the¬†desk chair of¬†my room now, trying to prep for a comprehensive academic discussion and curriculum amendment meeting i had scheduled to lead with my Teaching Team the next day. Yay…not.

I closed all work-related tabs, and opened our page here, yes just like that. There is so much one can do at some point, and I needed to accept that. And somewhere in the past hectic couple days, I had read a blog newsletter i am subscribed to, that says Tip#3:

Write it all down. Use your mind for better things than remembering what to do. And the mind is often like a leaky bucket. So write down all your great ideas, insights and thoughts before they go missing somewhere and add what you need to do to a to-do list.“-

(21 small ways to make life simpler by Henrik Edberg; at http://www.positivityblog.com/index.php/2016/03/02/simpler-life/ ).

So,

Here’s what i “write down” tonight:

Thought #1:

I had a chat-kind-of argument with people close to me tonight regarding work ethic, mine actually.

I had raised my¬†‘concern’ and feeling that as i am doing what i am doing in my professional life right now, i feel a part of me is scared of losing her work ethic eventually and i feel horrible about it; losing it because ¬†many things going on around me and the way things ‘really get done’ (messy-ly) in the real business world. Tonight¬†particularly, i got these words i did not like,

you still need a lot of experience and years and years of accumulated life lessons from professional careers ad¬†positions¬†until you truly learn that you cannot be an employee and keep¬†that strong¬†conscience, or that immaculate work ethic ..¬†” .

Truth be told, I had heard that when i was 19¬†at my first ‘job’, and then again,¬†at 21, and 22, 23. 24, 25 and now at 26 too? Like really? If there is¬†anyone older than my humble 26 who really is convinced they have gotten “enough” experience,¬†please, i urge you, ¬†do come forward with your Comments on this cause i need to hear your version of the story.

Like, really, did you ever reach a point of, ‘ i know exactly how to deal with this situation, i am not confused cause i have had enough experience? I need to know if i’ll ever get there, really.

What do You think?

Should I really accept that step by step some of my work ethic will and that i will start getting used to doing things the way ‘they’ want them done?

or should this conscience of mine at any workplace fade, so that my struggles fade away a bit?

Am i wrong to be that ethical and wrong to hang on to what i believe in and the ways i believe i’ll get to the results i seek? …

 

Thought #2: My 1-happy moment per day, these past 2 days

I am compelled to introduce you to two individuals who bring true, genuine, pure happiness, for real. You have them in your network too i bet; please meet:

  1. Mr. Wajih, owner of the¬†most beautiful smile for no particular reason or possession: 

    I rolled down my car window and smiled at a smiley, elderly man who sells packets of chewing on my workplace street as i left at 18.40 tonight.

     

    He insisted i take one of his packets for free, and that i choose my favourite flavour, only in exchange for my ‘genuine smile’ he said..

     

    I took the pack of gum, smiled back, and asked him for his good name;

    Wajih he replied with eyes that literally lit. Then he paused and asserted, feeling so empowered this time:

    Wajih xxx” (last name not mentioned for confidentiality),

    as he extended his arm out to like formally introduce himself to me and I¬†to him.¬†Needless to say, cars behind me began honking angrily, knowing the traffic jam was still as bad& i couldn’t really move forward except a few millimeters.

    .. I had left work, took the usual road, down the street to the right, where traffic was mad and i stopped the car when i saw sweet Wajih. He was as happy and smiling, as he stood in between cars, initiating conversations with people/employees consumed in the stress of their own world.

    I am not being at all poetic, I was just mindful of ¬†the reactions of drivers parked next to me, waiting for the traffic to ease-up a little. I had a job, a roof over my head, a car, and a salary awaiting for me to withdraw today as i drove worrying about “the weight of the world!!” on my shoulders’; yet he was ever more happy with the little he had, packs of chewing gum and a chatty, sweet spirit. I have never seen anyone i know, as content with life a¬†Wajih¬†did. It was contagious.

    2. Mr. Abou Farouk : owner of the most authentic character.

I drove to work on March 2, 2016, parked and walked towards my workplace, knackered. On my way there, I saw the below for a first:

IMG_0388.JPG

I was so sleepy, but i could not miss the energy, or the look on the face of an elderly, bearded man, with the kindest eyes and loveliest smile and sight I’ve ever seen that early at 6am.

I was just passing past this place to cross the street towards my workplace, yet Mr. Abu Farouk was so welcoming i was compelled to say Hello and stop; he had 4 birds chirping too just on the left of the photo here.

His words, and warmth, and warming sight took all my burdens away. Life lessons is what he taught me, in the 3 minutes it took him to prep the coffee he had insisted to offer me;

IMG_0390 (1).JPG

How much do these people like these in our life matter, you think? .. Can you find them wherever you are now, you think?

I’ll love you and leave you now, for some sleep before another big day tomorrow.

Sincerely yours,

Joy

March 3, 2016.